Mysteries. Don't ever try to solve them. We're just players in a game and no one's keeping score. So have your fun. Go ahead and tell your story. Find yourself a lover who will glue you to the floor...

~Jimmy Buffett

The days feel new again. I'm back. And I'm feeling much better. I have the best friends in the world. Not only do they support me in a major crisis, like my husband leaving me, but they also support me in a minor one, like a douche bag breaking my heart and not being man enough to give me an explanation.

So to all of my friends from long ago, the here and now, next door, down the street, and a few states over...

I love you all to death and you mean the world to me!

Now on with things...

As most of you know, I am a Parrothead. An adolescent one, perhaps, but a Parrothead all the same. Once again, I have been counting down the days with my neighbor and once again, I have stories to tell!

(Note: Before you read any further, you must brush yourself up on the “Knight Stalkings” posts, Part One and Part Two, that are located in the sidebar.)

In my search for Officer Tallandhot a.k.a. Sir Saltanpepper, I had several “mistaken identities”, if you will. There was Sir Benjamin McFairman, Sir Peter Paul, and Sir Dylan Fisherman. I feel fortunate to have formed certain friendships with a couple of those gentlemen.

Last summer, I was in the prime of my crush on Tallandhot. That was mainly due in part to the fact that I had to perform custody exchanges at the local police station because my ex was married to a psycho that put my safety in jeopardy. Fortunately or unfortunately, we no longer exchange at the police station because he wised up and left her. Tallandhot always managed to be nearby for those exchanges but in the interim of the process, I also ran into several of the other officers that were there the night I finally had found him.

I formed an acquaintance with “Dylan.” I found him to be a pretty nice guy and I always enjoyed the chats we had in the station parking lot. On a rare occasion, Bex and Liv and I would run into him at the Saloon and we would get to chat. He was in a relationship that wasn't always great for him and we would sometimes talk about dating and how difficult it could be at times. Sometime around Christmas they ended it. I saw him at the Saloon and told him he needed a haircut. He told me his hairdresser was on leave because she had to have surgery. So I offered my business card and he called the next day to schedule a haircut.

For some odd reason, I was incredibly nervous cutting his hair. But we managed to joke with each other.

“How do you want your hair cut?”

“Well, make it short. You know...make me look like a cop but...”

“Like a stylish cop?”

“Yeah, like a cop on the town.”

“A cop on the town? That sounds like a porno.”

“Boy! It didn't take long for this conversation to go south!”

Then sometime in the spring, once roadwork construction began, I would often see him on my morning runs. And lately, it seemed to be more often. We always wave but that's it. We hadn't had any good chats because we lacked the opportunity.

Then I found him on Facebook. And I thought, “Why not make the opportunity?”

I sent him a message and asked him if he makes fun of me when I run. I often wonder if I look stupid running. I envision myself looking like an athlete but let's face it, I could be dreaming.
He replied, “No dear, I do not make fun of you. In fact, I often wonder if you catch me staring long before I realize that it's you!” Then I think he threw something in about still working on being left handed. That has been a running joke with us since the night we met.

I wrote back with “one more thing” and told him we should get a drink sometime so we could chat since we hadn't been able to in a while.

He replied, “Sounds like a plan. When are you free?”

“Saturday, Tuesday (oh wait...that's Buffett), Wednesday...”

“I forgot about Buffett! That's always a great time!”

“Do you want to go with us?”

Never in a million years, did I think he actually would.

But he did.

In a way, I was grateful. K-9 had broken my heart. He had said he would go to Buffett and I was so fearful that one slow song and me being a third wheel with my neighbors, would commence the waterfall of tears. I knew that having a guy friend with me would help alleviate that lonely feeling that I was bound to have. And I certainly didn't want to be hanging out with any more “swinger cops”.

Still, I am ye of little faith when it comes to men and their promises. One too many had been broken and I wasn't going to believe him until I saw the promise fulfilled. He called the night before to go over the game plan and still, I didn't believe him.

Sure enough, the morning of, he texted me to tell me that his meeting was running late and he wouldn't make it until almost two o'clock. I knew my neighbors would want to be on our way well before then. But he kept in contact and kept me updated on his location when finally, he called.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“I'm standing under the yellow Land Shark flag. Where are you? I don't see you.”

I stepped out from under our tent and there he was. He was the picture of one hell of a fun guy. Hawaiian shirt, fishing hat, and Parrothead Mardi-Gras beads.

He came over and we hugged. I introduced him to my neighbors and my neighbor's buddies and they immediately clicked. None of us had put on our leis yet so I grabbed them out of the car.

“Wait...I have to 'lei' you first.”

“Yes,” he said with a grin, “let's get the 'lei' out of the way.”

We did the typical tailgating activities. We ate, drank, downed Jell-O shots, and played ladder golf. The rest of the group went for a walk, leaving us behind so we sat and talked. Without beating around the bush, he asked how I felt about having more children. I already knew his reason behind the question. He was interested in me and that is one of his main priorities. He wants children. That was something he and I had talked about last summer in the police station parking lot.

Suddenly, I felt like we were on a date. I tried to answer as casually as possible.

“You know, people ask me that all the time. When my ex husband first left, we were supposed to be trying for a second baby. I had had a miscarriage a couple of months prior. So when he left, all I wanted to do was hurry up and replace everything I had just lost...husband, baby, etc...and get on with my life plan. But then time went by and I realized that I was okay with how things are. And as far as having more children, I'm okay either way, with whatever my significant other wanted. If I have more then great! If I don't, I'm good with that too.”
Finally our party returned and I was so relieved. Not because of his topic of conversation but because I had to pee like a racehorse.

You have two choices for restroom facilities at that particular venue. Port-a-johns, that are stationed in the parking lot, or the woods. Having grown up in the country, I know how to pee in the woods and I'm not above doing it, especially when the lines for the port-a-johns were so long.

We walked to the edge of the woods and he said, “Go ahead. I'll try not to look...too much.” I laughed and walked down into the woods and found a nice tree to do my business behind. Then it was his turn. I went back to where he was waiting and he asked me, “Do you want to hold it for me?” I just raised my eyebrow and stared at him.

“My drink!” he said with a grin. “Hold my drink.” I laughed and took his drink while he also trekked down into the woods.

The second time we went to the woods was much of a repeat of the first except that time I asked him if he wanted me to “hold it.” He said he didn't think he needed to go. I said, “Are you sure? Because I can hold it for you.” We were quiet for a minute and he leaned in and kissed me. It was a nice kiss...not too hard, not too soft. It didn't feel like he was trying to get it on nor did it feel perfunctory. It was just the right amount of nice.

I, of course, was a little on the tipsy side at that point and leaned back and braced myself on the car that was next to us. Then suddenly...

WHAP! WHAP!

I snapped out of the moment to realize that there was a woman standing there smacking me with her towel. Stunned, we both just stared at her. “My nephew's here,” she hissed at us. “Go on, get out of here. You're on my car.”

I pulled my hand off of her car like it was a hot stove. Still we both stared at her. As we walked away, we began to crack up. Her “nephew” looked to be about nineteen years old. If he hasn't seen two people kissing before, then I felt sorry for him. And it's a Buffett concert for God's sake! What did she think was going to happen out on the lawn? Our benign little kiss paled in comparison to that.

Soon it was time to head into the concert. When he had called me to tell me he was on his way, he also told me to keep my eyes open for a ticket. Shortly after that, two guys walked by selling tickets. In my already hazy state of mind, I bought it because it seemed reasonable. They were asking face value. But after the guys left, it occurred to me that it was a computer print out that could have been copied fifty times. The trick would be to be the first person to have the ticket scanned and get into the concert.

I told him not to give me his money until we were inside...just in case. He said he would go first so if his ticket didn't work, I wouldn't already be inside without him. You can imagine our faces as his ticket scanned and they let him through the gate. He told me he wouldn't have stuck me with losing my money, which was nice of him to say, but it was my own stupidity to buy that kind of ticket. He was holding my money in his pocket anyway so he just transferred “funds” from one “account” to another.

We had a few minutes before Buffett was to come on stage so we found our spot on the lawn and laid down. His shoulder felt nice under my head and if I would have let myself, I would have fallen asleep right there.

A few songs into the concert, I had to go to the restroom again. He waited outside for me and when we went back to the lawn, he let me choose our new spot. I began cutting through the crowd pulling him by his hand behind me. Finally, I said, “Right here.”

“Nice! Nothing like a dirty old man right in front of us.”

We were both laughing because there were these two older couples right in front of us. They were heavily intoxicated and the one guy was grabbing his old lady's ass like a bowling ball, if you know what I mean. I'm telling you the guy had his hands up in there.

Off to our left a little, was a group of twenty-somethings who were seemingly minding their own business. Soon I noticed the ass grabber's friend in a discussion with the twenty-somethings. I leaned back and asked, “Does it look like there are words being exchanged in front of me? Are they about to fight?”

He had that “cop stare” directed toward the situation but then smiled and said, “I'm not getting involved. I'm off duty.”

Just like I thought, a minute later, the old guy hauled off and sucker punched the one kid square in the nose. The kid's nose began gushing with blood. Another twenty-something took off after the old guy and they had a shoving match that tumbled down throughout the crowd. It quickly broke up and they returned to their spots. Another one of his friends took off his shirt and gave it to the kid so he could contain his bloody nose. The kid never retaliated which was quite commendable and from what we saw, it didn't look like he had done anything to even provoke it.

Not long after, security arrived...the blue shirts. You know, the “first responders.” The older couples began yelling at the security guards and pointed at the young kid. For a second, I thought he might get in trouble for something he hadn't done. That's when “Dylan” pulled out his badge and as discreetly and nonchalantly as possible showed it to the security guard. I have to admit it. I thought the move was kind of hot.

“I'm an off duty cop. I witnessed the whole thing. The older guy hauled off and punched that kid for no apparent reason and the kid never took a swing or provoked it.”

He slipped his badge quickly back into his pocket and came back to me and wrapped his arms back around my waist. He spoke in my ear, “You may suddenly end up behind me. Just so you know, if you do, I put you there.”

Next, the yellow shirts arrived. Those are the big goony security guards, the meat heads. The taller one held a strobe light high above his head. “Dylan” joked that it was a good thing that my flashing pink flamingo necklace was a different color.

The next thing I knew, we had five or six police officers all around us. The security guard told the one officer who “Dylan” was and what he had witnessed. “Dylan” gave one of the officers his business card. The officer told him they would call him in a day or two for a statement. They ended up arresting the guy who threw the punch and they kicked the ass grabber and the two women out of the concert. Everyone cheered as they were led away and you heard many people comment, “Who fights at a Buffett concert?” That was true. That was my twelfth or thirteenth concert and that was the first fight I had ever seen. “Dylan” said that if he has to go to court for the hearing, that at least he'll get paid for it.

How about that? He was off duty. He witnessed something. And if he has to go to court, he still gets paid to do so. Not a bad gig.

The rest of the concert was great. We danced and he kissed the back of my neck few times, hitting that spot that sends tingles down my spine and paralyzes me. My only gripe is that I lost five minutes of my life that I'll never get back when Jimmy covered Yellow Submarine. Seriously? Yellow Submarine? Of all the Beatles songs? Yellow Submarine?

How about Sister Golden Hair, Jimmy?

By the way, I emailed Jimmy Buffett to ask him to cover that. He hasn't gotten back to me yet.

Back in the parking lot, we told my neighbors about the fight and how the police came. “Of course the police came! Tina was there,” they said. I asked “Dylan” if he would drive me home and we said good bye to my neighbors.

When we got to my house, he leaned over and kissed me again. This time there was no crazy lady to attack us with her towel. I was really quite surprised at how good of a kisser he was. He has really nice lips. The bitable kind. And he was completely in sync with me. His hand started to wander just a little bit and he said in between kisses, “I'm doing that with my left hand. That's why it's a little sloppy.” I giggled and a minute later, we slowly pulled away.

I went in my house feeling good. It had been a really really fun night. Indubitably...was the word he used all night, especially when I told him I liked that word. So much so that I texted it to Bex, who of course, corrected our spelling.

After the month that I had after K-9 disappeared without any explanation, I needed a night like that. So even if nothing develops with “Dylan” and me, I love that he gave me that much.

However, he has been calling, texting, and stopping by while on duty which is a little reminiscent of Tallandhot and therefore a little strange to me. So who knows? I have such little faith in men that I'm not thinking too much into it right now.

But it's all been fun and interesting.

Indubitably.

I'm still here! And I'm working on my next post. It's just taking a while because it's looooooong.

Stay tuned!

I truly should have known better. I let my guard down with him. I took a chance on letting someone completely in and now I am paying the price. I am completely and utterly heartbroken. There is not a day that goes by that I don't cry. There are reminders of him everywhere I turn and I really miss him.

I don't understand what happened and it hurts like hell.

There I was trucking right along in life, feeling fairly content, when he suddenly was plunked down in front of me, throwing my world into a tail spin and changing everything. And now I realize that I don't want to be alone in life. Do I not deserve to be loved by someone?

I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning and an even harder time making it through the day. He is the first thought I have in the morning and the last thought before I fall asleep.

But I also know that I have some really good friends. Even an old high school friend “came across my blog” and wrote to ask how I was doing. I wasn't looking for sympathy but my friends have been sympathetic and supportive (well...most of them) and I am grateful. Truly grateful.

I haven't felt much like writing. I'm just trying to heal. I've been reading your blogs. I may not have commented but I've been reading.

I'm still here. I'm just quietly trying to get over him.

I miss him terribly.

I'm sad.

I haven't worn mascara in a week.

I've gotten to be pretty good at playing Solitaire.

Poetic, isn't it?

Her eyes hurt from the labor of crying. So did her head. It had been two days and she heard not a word from him. It was not like him to ignore her. A status quo had been created from the day they had met. They had communicated every day in some way, shape, or form from that very first day.

But here she was. Again. Wondering why he was suddenly gone. She tortured herself more by replaying every minute of the last time she saw him.

He had come over. It was a simple date but one that sometimes takes months to achieve. They snuggled on the couch. He was indebted to watching her favorite movie. He had lost the guessing game they played when sharing one another's all time favorite movies. So they watched it and cuddled. After the movie, they snuggled closer and lay next to each other, just talking. Eventually, they fell asleep in each other's arms, the cool breeze blanketing over them from the open window.

He had called her “Baby” three times that night. At first, she wasn't sure that she heard him correctly. He wasn't the type that used pet names for just anybody. As they had drifted off to sleep, he stroked her cheek with his fingers. He also had committed to going to the Jimmy Buffett concert with her. She inwardly smiled over that. The concert was still four weeks away. It was a small commitment, but a commitment nonetheless.

There was nothing that happened that night that told her that he was pulling away. If anything, she thought they were growing closer. Yet, once again, she sat and wondered what she had done wrong. She wondered why nobody wanted her. Was she just predestined to be alone?

She pulled in her girlfriends to comfort her. They had her back. They gave her sympathy. It helped but didn't ease the pain she felt. And it suddenly occurred to her just how much she liked him.

It is so hard to find someone that you find yourself physically attracted to and also find yourself “clicking” with. Someone who is “custom made” for you. And if you are fortunate enough to find both, you have cross all of your fingers and your toes that they will feel the same way. It is all a big crap shoot and you have to hope that your good luck charm pulls through for you.

She thought she had that with him and it agonized her more to realize that he may have changed his mind. She just couldn't figure out how or when. Or why.

Finally, after hours of crying and counsel from her girlfriends, he texted her back. She had called the woman who had introduced them and told her.

“He finally answered me that everything is alright. He went to his buddy's place in Harrisburg and he is on his way home. But can't he text from Harrisburg?”

“Well...I can attest to that. I have to travel there sometimes and I know at what point I can make my last phone call before I lose all service. Harrisburg is a dead zone for me.”

He hadn't told her about this trip and she realized that he wasn't giving her the brush off. He had just acted like a man. The relief poured out of her. She did realize, however, that she would need to tell him what had happened.

He didn't owe her any explanation of where he was going. And he certainly wasn't obligated to check in with her. But she needed to tell him that she panicked. It was in no way his fault. She just had been burned so many times before that the worst possible scenario was the first thing to come to mind. All she would like from him is a head's up if she wouldn't hear from him in a few days. A gentle reassurance.

The best part of it all is that she didn't feel scared to tell him that. She felt that it was okay to say something. To ask for that little bit of reassurance.

Right after she wrung his neck for scaring her into thinking it was over.

She has to remind herself to breathe at times. It all feels like it should be a dream but she is wide awake going through her everyday motions. The only difference is in the way she floats while doing so.

With every new little discovery that she finds in him, she becomes more sure of it. He fits her perfectly. Just when she thinks he they couldn't have any more similarities, he surprises her with another, or reacts in such a way that she knows she has surprised him too.

She can see herself forming that best friendship with him. They think alike. They like the same things and their individual likes pique the interest of the other. Coupled with the butterflies that flutter in her stomach when she sees him, it all seems so surreal. Her best girlfriend asked, “Was he custom made for you?”

It's in the little things that he shares with her. After she told him of how she kept a goldfish alive for fifteen years, he employed her help in saving his pond full of fish. They had been dying one by one and the water became cloudy. He blamed the toads that took up residence and tried to make a family there. He evicted the toads and began the disgusting task of cleaning the eggs from the water. She told him that she wasn't sure that the toads were the actual problem and that she suspected algae to be more of the culprit.

The first time she visited his house she brought a container to take a sample of the water and a couple days later took it to her favorite fish store to be tested, a very girlfriend-like thing to do according to her best girlfriend. Knowing the right questions to ask the clerk, she found that she had been on the right track. The toads and their eggs were only an annoyance, not a problem. The water was cloudy from algae bloom and it needed to be shocked. She gave him instructions on what to do and a few days later, he proudly announced that, after hours of labor, the pond in his front yard was crystal clear.

The demise of the fish, however, could have been caused by a couple of scenarios. If they happened to all be dead right after winter, then the pond was just too small and the unlucky ones didn't swim to the bottom first. But then she asked if any of his neighbors had recently had their lawns treated. The wind will carry the chemicals to the water and will kill the fish.

He seemed surprised but with a sudden realization of what had happened. He was having his lawn treated and therefore, responsible for the death of the fish. It made her feel good to know that she was able to help him. And it rattled her a bit to realize that helping him was something she really wanted to do.

Occasionally, she can't help but fear that he will lose interest in her. She has become accustomed to that turn of events and it's a shame that she has been programmed in such a manner. But with each new day and each new discovery, he is slowly debugging her program. Perhaps the fear helps to keep her in check and makes each adorable little thing he does seem a little more special.

His house is a typical bachelor pad but a little better than most and he is quite proud of it.

I was greeted at the door by the dog. Eventually, the two cats came to say hello to me too. He loves his animals. A nice fish tank sat in the corner and on a small table was a picture of him and his last dog.

I learned more about him by visiting his house. First of all, the man is an artist. When we got to the garage portion of the house tour, I noticed large cut outs of the Grinch, his dog, Frosty, etc. Upon closer inspection, I saw that they were handmade. He admitted that he drew them freehand and then painted them. They were unbelievable. I would have assumed he used a projection screen to trace them but no...the man is an artist.

In his man cave, which he says is now more like a cat cave since his one cat seems to have claimed the space, the décor was was nautical in theme. It was my favorite room in his house. I saw two mirrors hanging on the wall with seashells around the frame and somehow I just knew.

“Did you do that to those mirrors?”

He admitted that he did. Armed with a hot glue gun and a bag of seashells, he transformed the mirrors to fit the room.

We watched the Penguins game and after, I went over to check out his fish tank. He came over and stood next to me wondering where all of the snails were hiding. I put my arms around him and hugged him and he warned me that he was going to pick me up.

He did and carried me to his bedroom.

I guess I didn't have to go home.

It's the third time now that we have made love. I use that term, “made love,” very carefully...almost at a whisper. There have been only a few people in my life with whom I would consider that act to be titled as such. He is tender and caring and sweet. And he is into me.

When I first got there, he reached over to touch the appliqué on my authentic Lemieux jersey. I teased him that he just wanted to feel my boob. “Well...yeah,” he replied. A few minutes later, he told me my hair looked nice. I occasionally curl it like it is in my profile picture and I decided to do so yesterday. Later, he had snuggled closer and had buried his face in my hair, telling me that it smelled good.

We are slowing coming to understand one another's bodies. And last night it began to show. I asked him in the middle of it all if he was okay.

“Am I okay? I'm just fine, “ he said in a surprised whisper. “Are you okay?”

Oh yeah. I was okay.

He held me in his arms all night. I teased him this morning that I could have used three more cats and another guy to keep me a little warmer but I survived. Just as I would feel nice and cozy, his cat would get up and move away from my feet. I missed my down comforter but being in his arms all night was a nice trade off.

He looked cute this morning with his hair all messy. I hated to leave but I knew he needed to get ready for work and I needed to beat the morning rush hour traffic so I could be home in a decent amount of time.

I texted the woman who, with the help of her husband, his chief, had fixed us up. I told her I was on my way home from his house. She replied, “Okay. This is getting good!”

She's right. This is getting very good. Every time I see him, I learn something new that I like about him. With the wall around my heart gone, I can feel it pounding from the mere thought of him. This is going to really be something. I can feel it.

It's four weeks today since that fateful moment when I met him. My! How my life has changed in four weeks!

As TR said in the comments section of my last post, I am falling for him...HARD. Undoubtedly a bold statement on my part...there is no reason for me not to fall for him.

Whenever I think about him and his character, qualities, beliefs and personality, I literally cry. It overwhelms me at times but he is what I have long been searching for. I am absolutely sure of that. I am completely physically and sexually attracted to him but I also find that there is a magnitude of emotional attraction as well.

He is tender and affectionate. He will stroke my cheek for no reason. We kiss for hours. He is supportive and encouraging of my endeavors and shows interest in the things I like. We continue to find so much in common that being around him is comfortable and easy. The wall around my heart has already crumbled. My instincts tell me that he would never do harm to it.
He is gentle. He loves animals and has respect for human life. Even though he is a police officer, he doesn't like guns. He said he doesn't like what they are capable of doing. “Although, I AM a good shot.”

He is strong. His hands have strength in them. When they hold my own, it is a firm grasp. I know that I would always feel safe and secure with him.

He continues to be reliable and follow through with plans. There were a couple of times that I started to think, “Here we go.” I automatically assumed that the brush off was coming. But then he would be there...just like he said he would. He makes statements about the future. He says he is going to Jimmy Buffett with me next month. And after we watched a movie he brought with him to my house, he pointed to the Breakfast at Tiffany's DVD that I had taken out of the player and said, “We'll have to watch that next time.”

A few friends have told me to take it slow. It's too late for that and I refuse to listen to them. I am not going to play games and pretend that I don't feel something that I feel. That won't benefit me and that won't help any relationship grow. There needs to be honesty. And I will be nothing but honest with myself and him. I'm not spouting off the “L” word. I'm simply saying that there is something more to this man than I have encountered with any other man and I will not put on the brakes when we are cruising at a good and comfortable speed, steadily picking up momentum.

Our schedules don't coincide perfectly but where there is a will, there is a way. He obviously has the will. Our first two dates were lunch dates. I've never gone on a lunch date before. It's not ideal but we both obviously wanted to see each other. He canceled his saxophone lesson to make the first date happen and most recently, he came over to my house after my son was in bed so that we could see each other. That may not seem like an endeavor but many guys are afraid of the “kid” thing. I see it as a good sign that he was okay with coming over while my son was sleeping. Quite frankly, we wouldn't have had another opportunity for at least a week. To me, it all shows that he is willing to think outside the box. He is flexible and sees beyond the black and white of things.

Aside from all of the aforementioned, there is just that “knowing” feeling that I get. I saw it in his eyes the moment that I met him and I still see it. It is there in the way that he looks at me. He is feeling this too. I know he is. The woman who first told me about him said she was hearing the same positive reviews from his end as well. She said that he liked my friends when he met them.

He didn't tell me that so I was happy to hear that bit of news.

Only time will tell but I truly believe he and I have all the time in the world.

It only happens in movies. Or does it?

Two people share a moment when their eyes meet. The world around them is erased from existence. The only thing remaining are the two people. I never thought that truly happened until the moment you looked up at me and our eyes met for the first time. The blue of your eyes was bewitching, working its magic, embedding that moment forever on my soul.

You captivate me like none other. The mere thought of you can send reverberations of thunder through my chest. Momentarily, the custody of my breath is taken from me whenever you enter my sight. The warm touch of your skin melts into mine, rendering me refuge from loneliness.

But it all began with that monumental moment, when your eyes took hold of mine and held them fixated. Looking into your eyes, I thought I saw a glimpse, a tiny piece of what was to come. There is future there...in your eyes. They are the gateway to something extraordinary and unimaginable.

There is something inexplicably different with you.

You may just be the one.

It's such a simple thing really. So why is it often hard to find?

That fit.

She fit perfectly in the crook of his arm. Her shoulder fit under his while her head rested on top. It was complete comfort. Not too hard. Not too soft. And just the right size. The rest of her body met his in perfect harmony. Their legs entangled at the precise places that they should.

Just like that, they fell asleep.

And she thanked sweet Jesus that he doesn't snore!

It was much like the first date. She met him for lunch. This time she chose the restaurant as he suggested.

When he stepped out of his car, she again caught her breath. After they had been seated, they once again sent the waitress away for more time to peruse the menu. The problem remained that they couldn't help but keep talking.

She soaked it all in. He was dressed nicely, a button down white shirt with blue pin stripes over a dark red tshirt and jeans. She loves the way he wears his greying hair. It is on the longer side and he sticks it straight up. She could linger forever in his blue eyes which always looked straight at her. This day, he hadn't shaved. She told him that she liked his scruff.

Since the last date, she had discovered just how prodigious his humor could be. So many times she would find herself laughing aloud at a text message he would send her. He didn't disappoint her and had her laughing as he told her of things he would “invent” and have Billy Mays sell for him. They were ridiculous items but the mere ideas he possessed gave him a boyish charm. It was difficult to remember that he was older than any man she had ever dated.

He talked about wanting a beach house. She asked him if he had a plan. He retorted that the thing he lacked to put his plan into action was a good woman to help him. She felt that statement directed toward her and curiously enough, she realized that she harbored no doubt with this man. She knows that the chemistry is there. It is widely apparent. One thing she must have is butterflies but along with butterflies, she must also sense intelligence. They must also possess a certain sense humor and wit. This guy had it all.

But the best part of it all is that she knows...knows without being told...that he feels the same about her. It's the way he looks into her eyes. She just knows.

He mentioned that his one cat consistently loses his collar. It was cute the way he complained about it, with a sprinkle of affection behind it. He was unsure of just how many collars he had purchased for him and he needed yet another. She reminded him that a pet store was nearby and silently wondered if he would be up for going somewhere else when their lunch was finished. It was a subtlety that she delivered and he vigilantly picked up on it.

Back at her car, he told her to meet him at the pet store. She offered to drive and he accepted. In the car, he pulled her closer and kissed her. With that kiss, it began. Every opportunity that arose, their lips found an embrace. Standing in the aisle of the pet store, surveying the selection of collars, his hand meandered up the back of her shirt until it found the bare skin of the small of her back. He kissed her again. Right there. Next to the cat collars.

Back at his car, knowing she needed to get home, he pulled away. She could see that it pained him to leave her. The intensity of his eyes bore into her core being. She took a deep breath when they finally parted ways. She was bursting with emotion and could feel tears springing to her eyes. They weren't tears of sadness. It was excitement. This is what she had been waiting for. That feeling.

After arriving home, she could hardly concentrate on even the simplest task. Outside with her son, she sensed her head was floating somewhere above the treetops, nearing the clouds. Her phone buzzed in her hand. She glanced down at it. A text message.

“You are pretty damn cute.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again. She looked around to still see the same familiar surroundings of her neighborhood. She looked at her phone again. The text was still there.

This had not been a dream.

A little bit about the new guy...

~I had a strange thought pop into my head. “Wouldn't it be funny if he had the same birthday as me?” It turns out that his birthday is two days before mine.

~He is out of my age range. I tend to only go six years above or below my own age. He is nine years older but it doesn't feel like it at all. He certainly takes great care of himself and keeps in shape so he doesn't look his age at all.

~He doesn't seem to be losing interest. The momentum is still going. He sends me cute little text messages every day.

~He is left handed, plays the saxophone, has done some boxing and martial arts, likes cats (along with dogs), and is a walking Seinfeld encyclopedia.

~He is deeper than the average guy. I discovered this by his answers to a couple of my “date questions.” I asked him what kind of tree would he be, if he could be a tree. Most guys say they would be an oak or a redwood. He said a willow. Most men answer red, blue, or green for their favorite color. He didn't say blue or green. He said turquoise. What I get from all of that is that he looks beyond the obvious, has a greater appreciation for life and is sensitive.

~He makes me laugh. For instance, just now, he texted me that if his cat continues waking him up at 4:00 AM, he is going to drop him off behind a Chinese restaurant.

And now I'm going to go because he is texting me...

I walked in the door. You were kneeling with your back toward me, talking to your dog. I circled in front of you, not knowing what to expect.

That is when the most beautiful blue eyes looked up at me. My breath caught and you stood up. My heart immediately skipped a beat. I did not expect to be so taken by you.

Your dog came over to me and pressed her body against my legs. I fell instantly in love with her. I stroked her neck as she looked up at me. It was surprising to me how affectionate a police dog could be.

You exuded charm and personality. I was widely impressed and although I was forewarned of your visit, I was derailed by our meeting. I did not think it would actually transpire. How I wished I had done something with my hair or worn something nicer! All I could do was hope that a smile would be ornament enough to draw your eyes away from the atrocity of my appearance.

Perhaps my impromptu plan worked because just a few minutes after you left, you sent a text.

“Definitely worth the covert drive over.”

You were out of your jurisdiction but your chief insisted you introduce yourself to me and said he would cover your calls.

Nearly a week later, I pulled my car into the parking space next to yours and I felt my breath catch again. We met for lunch. Slowly the tension melted and we eased into a conversation that lasted two hours. When we walked back to the car, I offered a hug for a “thank you” and as I had hoped, you kissed me. Your lips felt soft and cool in the hot afternoon sun.

“You're pretty cute,” you told me.

“Yeah? You're not so bad yourself,” I retorted.

“I hope this isn't the last time I get to see you.”

“Not if I have any say in the matter,” I thought to myself.

My phone alerted me once again of another text after seeing you.

“Good thing my mutt and I waited. You're cute.”

I had to agree. It was definitely a good thing. A very good thing, indeed.

She walked toward him. With every step, her smile broadened. He was even better in person.

“I KNOW you,” she said flirtatiously. He smiled back.

She approached him and they hugged. It felt good. His shoulders...yes, he had those shoulders she craved. He opened the car door for her and she climbed in.

He told her he was a little bit nervous but she had a hard time believing him as his charismatic nature loomed. He made her laugh as his humor was always delivered in a very nonchalant manner.

It was a beautiful night and they chose an up tempo tapas restaurant. Two corner seats at the bar awaited them. Conversation ranged from jovial to serious, to jovial again. Slowly, their body language showed evidence of their attraction. His hand briefly stroked the small of her back. Her hand grazed his knee.

They left and walked around the block to take in the fresh air. His hand welcomed hers. Their fingers laced together and she savored their perfect fit.

After having one more drink at a wine bar, they again entered the cool night air. She felt a chill but his arm offered her warmth. The first moment alone, hidden from sight, he pulled her close and kissed her.

“You knew this was going to happen,” he said teasingly. “Better to get it over with now rather than later.”

She laughed. He kept talking and she took a step forward to kiss him again, interrupting what he was saying. She didn't think he minded.

Back at her house, he walked her to the door. This time the kiss was coupled with more of an embrace. She pressed her body against his and marveled at the accord.

“Would you like to do this again?” he whispered.

“Next week?” came her reply.

“Please take care and remember that there are a lot of good people out there. There are just a few bad apples mixed in.”

It made me laugh that this is what “Beth” said to me after I informed her that her boyfriend was a lying cheating sack of shit. I know she is right but I was unsure how I felt about online dating. I've done it for so long but this one experience had really knocked me down a peg or two.

But without another day passing, almost like he knew, I got an email on Match.

I first read it on my phone so I was unable to view his picture or profile but the email was very nicely written, showing some personality. I very seldom write back to guys because I'm picky about they how they approach me in that first email.

“Check out my profile and if interested drop me a line.”

Forget it. I won't write back. I won't even “check out your profile.”

But this guy puts in his subject line, “Hi (how's that for an intro line?)” Right away, I could get a sense of his personality. The rest of the email followed suit. He definitely piqued my interest. I just had to get home to read his profile.

Him? I had seen his profile already but passed it up because he has a body to die for! So I figured he must have nothing but rocks for brains. But lo and behold! His email was very nicely written, paragraph form and all, with a few fifty cent words tossed in.

So I wrote back.

And I thought, “Here we go again.” Nothing like perseverance, right?

We had a few emails back and forth and I was genuinely surprised by how well we conversed.

When I very innocently mentioned the small town where I grew up, he told me to brace myself for a bomb. He grew up in the small town next to there. That didn't mean I was going to know him but then he also mentioned that he played fast pitch softball at the local field in my hometown.

That's when I nearly died. I HAD to know him. My ex boyfriend also played softball there and really, that was all there was to do on summer nights.

He also went on to mention where he went to college.

I wrote back and told him we would play a game. I was going to start naming names.

I told him who my ex boyfriend was and not to hold that against me. Because my ex played on this one particular team, I became friends with his friends so I named them. I also told him that I still keep in contact with my one friend, Chris, who I believed played on this other team.

Then I covered his hometown and told him that one of my best girlfriends grew up there. We met in cosmetology school and have been friends ever since.

And then...his college. Here is one of the funnier parts. I asked him if he knew Tallandhot and told him what high school he had attended. I also asked if he knew my next door neighbor or her twin brothers.

He responded, “Holyyyyyyy shit.”

He continued to name the rest of my ex boyfriend's teammates and said he played on the same team as Chris and that he also still keeps in contact with him especially in October because they share the same birthday.

He was best friends with my girlfriend's brother.

He didn't know my neighbor but did know her brothers. And...he and Tallandhot were fraternity brothers.

I called my girlfriend and asked her who he was. She knew right away and told me his last name which began to ring a bell.

“Don't you remember, Tina? My brother was always trying to get him to go out with you!”

Dear God, we were supposed to have been set up sixteen years ago!

Then I called Chris. He knows all of my dating woes and told me that he fully endorses this one.

“I mean, Tina, he is the total package. He is good looking, well built, takes care of himself, intelligent, has good values, has a great job and is extremely funny. I love his sense of humor. This is really good news!”

Why I bothered, I don't know but I also sent Tallandhot a text.

“Happy Easter. Funny thing...I have an upcoming date with one of your frat brothers.”

I nearly died when he texted back. He asked who it was and after some idle text chit chat, he also assured me that he was a really great guy.

We have a date on Saturday and I am really feeling good about it. How different this is from “Sam”. I couldn't have more positive feedback than I do with this guy. I do remember him now. He asked why we never went out back then. I told him I didn't know so I was going to put the blame on him. Then I told him we have some slacker friends. Why did we have to pay money to meet?

I did give my girlfriend's brother credit because he did try. He said, “No, I still think we have slacker friends because you would think that after all this time, they would have revisited the idea!”

This Saturday, we will visit that idea ourselves.

She was nothing less than awesome. A warm and genuine person. When she hugged me, she meant it. She hugged me and thanked me over and over.

Just like when I met Snow, sometimes you just know right away when someone will be a good friend.

And Flash called it. "Sam" is a real fucktard. (I like that word, Flash.)

Anyway, it looks very promising that Pittsburgh will be in her future. I certainly hope so!

Part Two: Apparently the Bag of Hair is Blonde

Suddenly, there she was...in my inbox.

I think my worst fear was that she wouldn't believe me. I had no idea what her email would say. I held my breath and clicked on it.

“Thank you, Tina.”

We were off to a good start.

“I'm sure that was a very painful email to write.”

Hmm...she could sway here.

“Your instincts were right on. We began dating in October and are still dating...”

My hands began shaking. I was happy she believed me but I felt horrible because I had to deliver such bad news to her.

She went on to ask me if I would be comfortable sending her some of the emails between him and me. She told me she was sorry that I got hurt and thanked me for reaching out to her and letting her know what kind of man he truly was.

I started to write back but could hardly type three words between my shaking hands and my space bar sticking from some unknown substance, undoubtedly juice or some other similarly “gooey when dried” treat. As I was fighting with my space bar. She sent another email. This one showed a bit more emotion.

“By the way, he never had a job offer in Pittsburgh. That was a lie. I'M THE ONE interviewing there next week. I'm not sure what he was thinking. This is so messed up. I'm divorced too...better to know now, I guess.”

I began to forward all of the emails I had from him. Finally, I could control the shaking to get another email out. I went on to explain a little more and told her I felt horrible. She wrote back and told me it wasn't my fault; we were both duped.

She said that he spends most nights there at her place and that they practically live together.

“The look on his face when he got out of the shower and I asked him who Tina was was priceless.

“He was all apologetic and saying that he realized this past week how much our relationship meant to him (blahblahblah...) and that's why he stopped communicating with you (how big of him!)”

It was that statement that told me I just may have a new friend. She told me to find her on Facebook. I did. We are now Facebook friends, which totally cracks me up and tomorrow night, I am buying her a drink. She and I have been in contact since that day, not even necessarily talking about him. She's a runner too and was asking me about my 10K. She also asked my advice on what areas of Pittsburgh might be a good place to live.

I am absolutely dying to sit down and buy her that drink so we can chat. I can't wait to find out what transpired from their conversation. How much backpedaling has he tried to do? She told me that they had also met on Match and that some of our emails were verbatim to the emails he had sent her and to some of the things he would currently say to her!

Oh, TR! Would I love to hear your diagnosis on this guy!

Sex addict? Bi-polar? Mommy didn't pay enough attention to him as a child?

But seriously, how many other girls are being lured by him? It was scary how smooth he was. But you know what? Shame on him for trying to go up against one intelligent woman, let alone two! He has balls but he is sure is stupid!

I can't wait to meet her!

And the butterflies went, "Splat!"

It's over. His decision. I don't want to talk about it.

Part Three

There is not one thing he says that doesn't appeal to me.

So many times in the past few years, while I might like a guy, there would always be that “one thing” that wouldn't sit right with me. I'd wish they were taller, or call more often, or be more available. Maybe their likes or dislikes didn't fit well with my own. Or maybe they would refuse to meet me after communicating online. Or maybe they just weren't at a point in their lives where they could commit to someone.

Obviously, if I was dating someone, there would be something that I liked about them. There would have to be at least one thing that was appealing to me, the reason for my attraction to them. He keeps reminding me of past interests. The difference is that he is a combination of all of the good aspects of those past interests. It's like ordering an appetizer sampler with him. He is all of my favorites on one plate.

He is very inquisitive and makes it extremely fun to get to know one another. We spend hours on the phone taking turns asking off the wall questions. He will say something extremely mushy and romantic and in the next breath say something dirty and begin flirting.

Just the other day, I decided that I would give him two more weeks to give me a calendar date that he would fly in from Boston to meet me. If he didn't make any attempt at planning something by then, then I would move on. I didn't even need to say anything to him about it. The very first thing he said to me was, “Okay. While I have you on the phone, what is the code for the Pittsburgh airport? Let's see what kind of deals I can find.”

Out of curiosity, I had already checked the rates of flights from Boston to Pittsburgh. He said it looked like the first weekend in May was the best fare. I knew that he wasn't bluffing because I had noticed that too. He just needed to check with his friend, who had offered him the position in his start up company, if that weekend would work for him too.

With each new day and each new conversation, he continues to prove to be a perfect fit for me. Just now, while writing this, he sent me a text that read, “You really do it for me.” I told him that it amazes me that I do because he also does it for me and that doesn't happen that easily.

Everything that he has told me about himself has checked out. Of course, a girl has to do her homework and cannot be too careful. He is who he says he is and his history is what he says it is. This guy may just be too good AND, by some miracle, still be true.

Part Two

I sat down and started to write to him. He wanted to know what I thought of Pittsburgh. And so I told him...

“I find it interesting that you are asking some random girl on Match her opinion of Pittsburgh...whether you might like it or not. After reading your profile, I'm trying to figure out how to sell the city to you. I would love for you to move here. ;)

“I was born and raised here. I'm a single mother that works full time and lives from paycheck to paycheck, so travel tends to take a back burner for me. In my opinion, I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to live here. The other places that you have lived sound so much more exciting to me. Perhaps because they are the unknown? But then, I do love my family and my friends and the life I have created for myself so I cannot imagine living anywhere else.

“I recently had friends visit from out of town and they both have professed their love for Pittsburgh and how they could see themselves living here. My reaction was, 'Really? Over Chicago?'

“One word of caution...prepare yourself. This town is unlike any other when it comes to their football team...women included. You are probably thinking, 'Oh she's exaggerating.' But if you do come here, you will eventually admit that I am right. I, myself, bleed black and gold. I plan my entire day around what time the game starts. And I yell at the TV...to the point that I sometimes sound hoarse the next day. We are town full of deep-seated pride for our Steelers, whether they go to the Super Bowl or not.

“There are plenty of fun artsy places to go and plenty of things to see and do. You just have to do a little research in order to find them.”

I went on to make a little small talk and complimented him on his profile. The next day, I received a reply email.

He questioned the letters in my profile name and said he found it kind of funny since they are his initials. That startled me for a moment because they are my initials too. That was a little ironic.

Then he told me that he wanted to give me props, as that was one of the best emails he has ever received and he was glad he sent his email.

“In addition, I have to come clean... I find you VERY attractive, and think 'maybe...'; as you are very much my type.”

He ended the email by asking how the running is in Pittsburgh.

Oh yeah...he's a runner too.

So I wrote back and thanked him for the compliment on my email. I told him I have a passion for writing. I told him he would enjoy the running around here if he likes to run hills. And I told him that I have plans to run my first 10K.

(Did I tell any of you that? April 11...wish me luck. I am only looking to finish...and not hurt.)

I also told him that I was sorry that he had to get a shot in his hip for the damage from his last marathon but I promised him that he would feel better from it because my client had to get one in her knee and now she feels great.

He wrote back and told me he also LOVES to write. He's working on a book. He also said he was hopeful of the shot taking care of his shortcomings of which I could not help but give a smart ass reply.

Long story short, we began to find one thing after another in common. The emails kept growing longer. He gave me his number for when I felt comfortable texting and/or calling.

After I wrote him back, I sent him a text to tell him to check his inbox. He texted me back the next morning, “Lol...why? Is there something good?”

A little later that morning, I was surprised my phone was ringing. Who could be calling me during the day like this? I could not believe it that it was him.

After he said hello and asked me how my morning was going, he told me that I was funnier than he gave me credit for. “When you asked me if I thought a shot would take care of ALL of my shortcomings, I almost laughed out loud.”

And his voice...he has a very sexy phone voice.

Part One...

Boredom set in. I knew I needed to begin thinking about my dating life more seriously. I figured that the longer it took for me to find somebody, the more comfortable I would become in my surroundings. Things are my way, how I like them. I do things when I want and how I want. I answer to no one else. I am the master of my domain and I have begun to foresee an inability to mesh my life with somebody else.

Is that really how I envisioned my life? Not really.

I decided to try Match.com once more. I reactivated my account because “it's okay to look.” I joined for only one month.

About a week later, I had a date. It was a nice enough date, just like all the Match dates I have had in the past, but truthfully, the guy seemed to be a bit of a dork. I told him I wasn't really feeling it. He thanked me for being straightforward. And we moved on.

The emails and winks continued. I have a problem with most of the men on there. They just don't have anything to really say. I can't stand when they write in their profile, “Just ask if you want to know more.” It makes me want to scream. Give me something to want to know more about! And every single guy sends the same email. It goes like this...


“I read your profile, and it caught my attention. Take a look at mine and, if interested, send me a note. Look forward to hearing from you.”

Blah.

What about my profile caught your attention? What do we have in common? You read my profile? Good for you. You can read. Say something, dimwit!

Then I have a twenty mile rule. I don't want to date someone who lives farther than twenty miles. I just don't have the time. I have a custody schedule to adhere to and a work schedule to where I work late on the nights that I don't have him. I don't want to travel to date. I began receiving emails from men in West Virginia and Ohio, Rochester, NY and Maryland. I would read their emails and then just hit delete.

Then I receive an email from a guy in Boston. Really? What does he want with a girl in Pittsburgh? I open the email and begin to read with my cursor already positioned on the delete button.

“I am being offered a position in Pittsburgh, and just wanted to ask what you thought about it? Do you like the city? Young person's city or what? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

“By the way, I'm sure you are going to make one man a very lucky guy! :)”

I thought it was a nice enough email and something made me think twice about deleting it. I checked his profile and found him to be somewhat interesting. He was well spoken. His profile showed some personality and I figured why not? I saved the email and decided I would give him my view when I had some time to write.

A few days later, I did.

Remember those summer vacations? You meet him. He’s different. He’s perfect. He consumes your thoughts. You have one week to commit him to memory. Because at the end of that week, as your father’s foot accelerates the journey back home, he will be whisked away from your world. You will never know what happened to that perfect boy. He is gone. The one you knew could have captured your heart forever. Whatever happened to him?

Years later, you are a grown woman. You have been wronged and hurt. You know the world is not always a nice place. People are not perfect. And some will not think twice about tearing your heart to shreds. You hold onto your heart and refuse to let someone else have a peek. You realize that you're perhaps too cynical to give someone a chance. You never want to feel that pain again.

Then he comes back. A different person, but the same nonetheless. Your heart begins to soften. You are fearful of being exposed to vulnerability. Yet you begin to feel yourself fall. He’s different. He’s perfect. He consumes your thoughts. This time you have more than a week, perhaps even a lifetime, to commit him to memory. This time, you hold the power.

You voice your fears, the possible danger he could be to your heart. He replies…

“This is the only thing I can offer, ‘only by exposing your chest to all the dangers of the world below can one spread their wings and fly’. Trust me; I don’t want to do that. However, I have to say, that I’m a big fan of the statement ‘If you haven’t had your heart broken, stay away from me’. With that, I think we have both been there, and although there is always that chance, I choose to chase the butterflies I am feeling when we talk and when I think about you.”

He is going to win her heart. She just knows it.

Freaking Geminis! Ugh!

Every now and then, I peruse the men on Plentyoffish.com. It’s a free dating website. Trust me. You get what you pay for. I usually browse through the profiles on there when I am bored. Most of the men on there are not of high quality.

The other day, I found one that seemed somewhat promising. Divorced, 38, 6’3”, two daughters, and a criminal investigator. (Yes…I have a type and I am just going to embrace it!) The downside to this is that he is a freaking Gemini.

It seemed to not be too much of an issue at first. We had some pretty good rapport in our emails. I even joked with him about being a Gemini and he wrote back pretending to have two personalities fighting with one another. (Or WAS he pretending?) I was pretty confident that we would actually get to a point where we would meet. It is rare for me to actually meet someone from that site.

Friday night, around eight o’clock, I texted him to see if he was able to talk. We had only texted and had yet to actually speak on the phone. I am going to give you our text conversation…

Me: R u able to talk?

Him: Well right now I’m being subjected to highschool musical. Its kinda loud. We can txt if thats ok. They should be goin to bed when its over.

Me: I totally get where ur coming from. But admit it…u were the 1 who wanted to watch that, huh? ;-)

Him: Busted! I tried to go in my room and watch something else but I got the daddy watch tv with me line. Is this your weekend?

Me: No…hes with his dad.

Him: That’s cool. I have them till Sunday. When you get him back?

Me: On Sunday. Ha!

Him: Lol! Oh well. Man she just ditched him for prom! Wtf!

Me: I have no idea what that means. ;-)

Him: Highschool musical. Lol.

Me: No…I know but thankfully I’m not subjected to that. :-)

Him: This is actually not my weekend but I swaped so that I could have St. Patricts day weekend. What u doin for that weeknd?

Me: Do u mean the wknd prior to st pats? I haven’t planned anything yet.

Him: Yeah. That’s when the big party is down town. Im goin down there with some friends.

Me: I usually stay away from there.

Him: (1/2) Ok so we have to figure this out. When can we get together? What time do you get your son on Sunday? Maybe we could meet for coffee before he drops him off

Him: (2/2) and I could make sure she picks them up early.

Me: Usually 6 but hes going to hang my tv so it might be earlier. What time were u thinking?

Him: That works. Some time between 1 and 2? I’ll put the girls to bed soon and call you.

Me: Ok.

Let me briefly interrupt right here and say that last text came at 9:10 PM. Also, let me point out that I woke up at six that morning, got my son off to school, worked out, went to work, picked him up from school, got him bathed and dressed for his Cub Scouts Banquet, cooked halusky to take to the banquet, cut my ex husband’s hair, went to the banquet and was now lying on my couch watching TV. What do you think was about to happen? If you guessed sleep, you are right.

So at 9:56 PM, almost an hour later, I wrote…

Me: Hey…I’ll try to call u tmrw. I’m drifting off and I’m heading to bed.

Him: I was just gunna call.

Him: Chicken…:-)

FIVE minutes later…

Him: I gotta be honest. I’m not really feeling the chemistry between us. Sorry. Take care of ur self and good luck with your search.

At this point, I had been washing my face and getting ready for bed. I was exhausted and in no mood to have a “first phone conversation” with someone. So almost fifteen minutes after he sent that, I was able to respond…

Me: Yes bc u can tell so much from a txt msg. Listen sweetheart u take care of urself too. I’ve had a long day and I work early in the AM. Good night and good luck.

Him: (1/2) Grrrrrr. You made me feel unimportant so I bailed. I don’t need that kind of relationship, lambchop. I really wanted to meet you but as you can see you can

Him: (2/2) judge someone from a few txts. Eye poke! Lol. Don’t be so hostle.

Ummmm…did you mean hostile? And by the way, Patrick is spelled with a “k” at the end not a “t”. Moron! And what is with him calling me different kinds of meat? Chicken? Lamb chop? Seriously? What was next? Veal cutlet? Turkey bacon? Smoked sausage?

I made him feel unimportant? WTF?! Relationship? Where did he get that we had a relationship?

And then…was he trying to make nice with me at the end there? I waited nearly an hour for him to call. How am I a chicken to talk to him when I began the entire conversation with “Are you able to talk?”

This is what I mean about freaking Geminis. They just turn on you. Or they really rope you in by being so damn engaging and then they toss you aside once they are bored with you. I can’t stand the multiple personalities.

The next morning I blocked him on Plentyoffish. What a weirdo. I’m glad I didn’t waste my time meeting him and all of his personalities.

Freaking Geminis.

“I said I'll be gone today but I’ll be back all around the way
It seems like everywhere I go
The more I see the less I know
But I know one thing that I love you”

~Michael Franti

IT WAS A DAY LIKE ANY OTHER.

Or was it?

February 1, 2009. Raymond James Stadium, Tampa Bay, Florida. The Pittsburgh Steelers take on the Arizona Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII.

I started the day like I usually do, dressed in my workout clothes and ready to run. Only this time I knew I had a lot of food and beverages waiting for me. I surpassed my usual three and half miles and ran five.

“THE TERRIBLE TOWEL WAS POISED TO STRIKE.”

I went home and got myself ready. My clothes were laid out. Black and gold. Jeans, black turtleneck, gold Steelers hat, and a throwback Polamalu #43 jersey. And of course, tucked into the waistband of my jeans, a Myron Cope’s (God rest his soul) Official Terrible Towel.

WHO BROUGHT THE GREEN BEANS?

The neighborhood was abuzz with activity. Music playing loudly and fire pits ablaze in driveways. The tailgates had begun.

So had the black and gold Jell-O shots. I think I had eight by the end of the night. There were wings and ribs, pizza and pepperoni bread, cookies and cupcakes. I brought halusky and…

“All I want to know is who brought the green beans?” my neighbor Kevin asked.

“I did,” I said.

“Who brings green beans to a tailgate?”

“Oh, put something healthy in your body!”

I’ll never live that down but I don’t care.

THERE IS ONE IN EVERY CROWD.

Bob the Browns fan was decked in full Browns attire. Yikes! He secretly wishes he could be a Steelers fan and he proved it by letting us “tramp stamp” him with a temporary tattoo of a Steelers helmet. As we were tattooing him, Kevin walked in. What a surprise for him to see four women gathered around Bob’s naked lower back. Whoa!

LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

We had the Steeler music rocking. Even though we did a good job of setting the mood with the music, nothing could compare to some random guy stopping his van and getting out with an accordion! He came over and played the Steeler Polka. Unbelievable! Only in Pittsburgh.

Aside from the usual Steelers songs, Kevin had another song mixed in on the loop. I asked him twice what the song was. It will forever be the “Super Bowl XLIII Song” to me. Michael Franti…Say Hey (I Love You). And I do love my Steelers.

And I think I love Ben. Seriously, I want to have his babies. We all know that seven is a better number than thirteen, right? (Sorry, Snow, but it is.)

I read my horoscope out loud to a few neighbors…something about partying it up with good friends. In the process, I discovered that one neighbor and I share the same birthday. Sadly, though, I’m older.

City Cop joined our party right around my sixth Jell-O shot. And lucky for him, he had to put up with my drunken ass with complete sobriety. He had to go to work at 8:00 and couldn’t drink. The city police had to report to work with no option of calling off. In anticipation of the Steelers winning, they had increased security around the city.

SUPER BOWL XLIII HIGHLIGHTS...

It was an amazing play when James Harrison intercepted Warner at the Cardinals goal line and returned it for a touchdown. The man was not built for running 100 yards like that and listening to Deshea Townsend on the radio morning show the next day, he agreed. He said he was running beside Harrison thinking, “Lateral! Lateral!” Townsend is a little smaller and lighter on his feet but in the end, he made a block and let Harrison take off. That touchdown was the longest play in Super Bowl history.

And then…that last touchdown with only 35 seconds left on the clock was enough to bring tears to my eyes. What an absolute beautiful catch by Santonio Holmes! What an absolute perfect pass from Ben! That was a typical Pittsburgh Steelers game…winning in the last minute!

SUPER BOWL XLIII LOWLIGHTS...

The first field goal the Steelers scored was bullshit. That should have been ruled a touchdown by Ben. His knee was NOT down. I’m sorry but the refs completely blew that call.

The commercials sucked.

And with all due respect to Bruce Springsteen, I was just not that impressed with the half time show. It was just “eh.”

“WHAT WERE THE THREE SPECIAL THINGS ABOUT THIS GAME, SON?”

I quizzed my son about the game the next day.

He answered, “The Steelers are the only team to have six Super Bowl wins and Mike Tomlin is the youngest coach to ever win a Super Bowl.”

And then, of course, there was Harrison’s 100 yard return for the touchdown.

That’s my boy.

WHY DO HOSPITALS SEE MORE CARDIAC CASES DURING THE SUPER BOWL?

You would think that with all of the alcohol I had consumed, I would have completely passed out that night.

No. Instead, I lied awake having a two hour long anxiety attack.

City Cop texted me that he had stayed on the North Side and wasn’t where all of the chaos was. Just in my little neck of the woods alone, I could hear the mayhem outside…sirens, horns honking, cheering. I could only imagine what downtown was like.

All in all, it was a fantastic game and one hell of a good time with my friends and neighbors. I love my Steelers and am so proud to be a “Sixburgh” Steeler fan that I am still wearing my black and gold.

And one gigantic smile.